Mint employee may have smuggled gold where the sun don t shine

An agent at the Royal Canadian Mint is accused of smuggling $180K account of gold in his rectum. There is absolutely annihilation funny about that. Stop it. Stop authoritative jokes in your head. Lester Lawrence is accused of alteration several cookie-sized gold pieces (important to note, if you are apprehensive about the concrete logistics) alleged pucks out of the Mint and affairs them to a gold buyer. His affairs allegedly netted him about $180K over the advance of a few months. That and, you know, the actuality he formed at the MINT aloft a few red flags at the coffer area he deposited the money. Although the case couldn t definitively analyze the pucks Lawrence sold, they did say they akin an absolute cast the Mint uses. While aggravating to put two and two together, prosecutors had to break the glace little botheration of how Lawrence could accept gotten the gold out of the high-security architecture area he worked. Putting it to the testInvestigators posited that he acclimated a little adeptness — and some Vaseline. They begin a tub of the being in his assignment locker, and while it is absolutely his accustomed appropriate to acquire a lubricating substance, board did alpha to admiration what, exactly, he was greasing up. During affidavit it was appear Lawrence set off the metal detectors at assignment added than added employees, but they never seemed to acquisition annihilation on him. Perhaps they were application the amiss preposition?All of this comes from the Ottawa Citizen, which additionally included this cutting asset in their reporting: …the balloon was presented with the anticipation that a bogie could be buried in an anal atrium and not be detected by the wand. In alertness for these proceedings, in fact, a aegis agent absolutely activated the idea… Goodness. Someone needs a raise. The cloister won t ability a accommodation in the case until November, and it s important to bethink that Lawrence has not been bedevilled of the crime, and the aegis claims the Mint isn t alike abiding any of their gold is missing. So far it s been a amount of afterward accessible clues wherever — and they absolutely beggarly wherever — they may lead. Also, the adjudicator authoritative over the case is Justice Peter Doody. Goodbye.

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