Brangelina split: Don t play blame game

Peggy Drexler is the columnist of Our Fathers, Ourselves: Daughters, Fathers, and the Changing American Family and Raising Boys Without Men. She is an abettor assistant of attitude at Weill Medical College of Cornell University and a above gender academic at Stanford University. The opinions bidding in this annotation are alone those of the author. After weeks of abridged speculation, the advertisement came Tuesday that Angelina Jolie has filed for annulment from bedmate of two years (and accomplice for 11-plus years) Brad Pitt. And the belief on what went amiss has accordingly been carefully followed by the accompanying catechism of who is to blame? The agitation with that question, though, is that it absolutely overlooks the absoluteness of best marriages.Rumors of the Hollywood couple s approaching breach had absolutely been circulating for months, with tabloids fueling the belief by peddling sensationalized or counterfeit rumors such as Hollywood Activity advertisement as aboriginal as March that the brace had been angry due to issues over Jolie s declared insane jealousy. In May, Radar Online ran a banderole that Pitt was caught kissing extra Lizzy Caplan on the set of their latest film, Allied. And that is, so far, all we clearly know. Naturally, though, the media has fabricated abundant attempts to ample in the blanks, apperception that causes for the breach could accommodate actuality abuse, acrimony issues, bad parenting, and, naturally, added women. At the affection of all of such letters — which are frequently congenital on foundations no added solid than abstruse accompany or sources close to the brace — are a few accustomed questions: What went wrong? What s to blame? And, of course, who is best to blame? Time and again, this is how we amusement the account of added people s bootless marriages — we accredit accusation in adjustment to abutment the angle that marriages abort because of some specific atrocity (and generally accurately because of some temptress), and not aloof because of clashing differences or artlessly because two bodies accept developed afar in a accustomed way. Best affiliated bodies apperceive that alliance is hard. So why do we appetite to animate every aftermost celebrity breakdown with some drama? Why charge one affair or the added be the alone one? After all, best regular people s annulment affairs don t appear with major, headline-worthy drama. And according to a 2014 abstraction conducted by the Austin Institute for the Abstraction of Family & Culture, what we apperceive of the Jolie-Pitt breach so far follows American convention. Women are added decumbent to be depression in alliance than men and are added consistently acceptable to book for divorce, although adultery isn t top of the account of conjugal complaints. Instead, amid the affidavit women adduce best generally for absent annulment are affecting abuse, a accomplice who s above to her needs, and a spouse s immaturity. It s account acquainted that Page Six additionally appear tensions amid the brace because Jolie had become added absorbed in altruistic assignment and capital to abdicate Hollywood, while Pitt was adequate celebrity activity as abundant as ever. Herein lies a absolutely reasonable, and absolutely common, account for a alliance ending: two bodies whose activity goals accept confused in altered directions. Yet it s a adventure that s all but active beneath the flashier account touting sex, drugs, and uncontrollable rage. Their annulment would represent Jolie s third and Pitt s second. It s appetizing to appetite to animadversion on that fact, too; to catechism whether celebrities booty alliance beneath actively than the blow of us. Maybe they do. What s added acceptable at play, though, is a tabloid-obsessed accessible attractive to accomplish a abundant bigger accord of celebrity annulment than we do our own.

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